Home
 

Sometimes the only way is jumping...I hope your not afraid of heights...

About Recent Entries

Oct. 26th, 2004 @ 10:03 pm

[info]

</font></font></font></font>[info]

[info]</b></a>[info]only_aporetic


new lj guys Oct. 15th, 2004 @ 11:26 pm

i made a new lj. sad that all is lost on this one..maybe not. i dont know yet. anyways, picture update on the other one. take a took.[info]only_aporetic

today was pretty good. picked out brand new and shiny glasses today, but they arent ready till next week. uh..worked on english. uh. went to work. matt was being non-talkitive. that wasnt fun. matt nontalkitive= me non-talkitive. anyways. ended up not going to graces lockin. that was bummer. ellies party tomorrow. fun times. im excited. uh not too much went on other than that.

At this moment I feel:: tired
What I hear:: ben harper

Oct. 14th, 2004 @ 11:16 pm


gavin? Oct. 12th, 2004 @ 10:11 pm
so let me say how much i am looking forward to this weekend..thing. maybe haveing a sleepover with the dance girls..that would be mucho fun. oh how i do love them. awesome kids. then going to dorcus/goodwill/vintageness shopping. then...writing a paper/studying then work friday..then maybe going to graces church thing... then working saturday..eh, then going to ellies thing..then i dont know. but i hope its good, oh yeah and maybe painting my bathroom/ watching rat race with lon..wow i have a lot planned..eh. oh yes and trying to make final plans to go to GAVIN november 2nd. i really want to go. anyways. fun times.

Oct. 10th, 2004 @ 12:10 am

so i wrote this list, and im going through and doing checkups...

 

1.I will try and be more postive about school. eh havent really, its good, just a lot of work

2.I will join the lacrosse team. positive. eh i want to

3.I will do great in school.havent done that

4. I will make money, and save it from working.im doing a good job on this one

5.I will make more friends.yay friends, im working on this, and getting somewhere

6.I will laugh more.i still need this

7. I will be goofy.still need this

8.I will hug people. really need this

9.I will be more social.im getting there

10.I will stop being so scared.nope

11.I will worry about the here and now not the thens...eh

12.I will give myself a break once in a while.oh gosh..

13. I will not procrastinate.this is my worst

14.I will keep in touch with people.Brittany.yay ive kept in touch, and also with steven

15.I will live up to my word.so far so good?

16.I will hope for the best.i hope i sure do

17.I will hope that people care for me.i hope

18.I will be more open with people.i think i am

19. I will work harder.i can always work harder, i need to

20.I will dance harder.ive def danced hard

21.I will train harder.this too

22.I will get more sleep.thats not going to happen

23. I will be more careful.im super careful

24.I will say no when i want to say no.i do this a ton

25. I will still tell people to leave me alone when i want to be alone.i havent had much time for anything

26.I will try and be more active in my clubs.i dont think im in any clubs now

27.I will attend more games.i havent been to any this year

28.I will play more games.eh

29.I will smile more.oh smile. what a wonderful thing. i try

30. I will take more notes.im always doing work for other classes during class

31.I will study more.need to

32.I will be smart.i wish

33.I will like to learn.i kinda do things i like...

34.I will grow as a person.we will see

35.I will find my comfort zone.i wonder where...

36.I will find my comfort zone person.ive found friends..thats a start

37.I will sit around with more people.not much time to sit

38.I will be myself more.definitely

39.I will do what I want to do and not worry about others liking it.Not that I do that so much now.i still dont do that much

40.I will not say that I hate school so much.i dont hate it, just dislike the way it runs

41.I will try and stay somewhat organized.im really failing this

42.I will be on top of things.this too

43. I will read what i am supposed to read.this too

44.I will offer Jourdain rides home from school so he doesnt have to ride the bus.haha. i dont know what made me think of that.this too

45.I will not be online so much.this too

46.I will spend more time outdoors.at least i do hw outside

47.I will spend more time out of the house.doign hw

48.I will form a study group.That works.i still should do this

49.I will pair up with other smart kids to do projects.so much for that..

50.I will not vow to kill my english teacher.i havent yet, thats good

51.I will be able to lay on other people in dance..and laugh really hard, and be like all the other dance girls.hmmyay i love my dance class this year

52.I wont get that weird look from so many people.not so much this year...i guess

53.I will not have more than this many things to do different next year.i cant say yet

54.I will explain things to people. Not always be explained to...yay kinda did this

55.I will play guitar more.i havent played guitar for a month

56.I will play piano more.i play sometimes..at least every week

57.I will go to shows.cant because of school

58.I will talk more.i do talk more..kinda

59.I will be happier.am i?

60.I will be more faithful.i want to.

 

 

At this moment I feel:: disappointed
What I hear:: Bow Wow
Other entries
» again i post of your smile
again i post of your smile.i want you to smile all the time. )

» (No Subject)

so hardcore dancing the past 2 days, getting ready for variety show auditions with grace and ellie. im sore all over. and quite a few bruises...

my shoulder..doesnt look tooo bad, but it feels it

me knee is mad bruised...

 

these pictures look really weird. but anyways..hope we did ok at the audition today, we worked hard. thanks to ellie and graces time spent choreographing this.


» and i see you standing there.

so here are some pictures of my wall in progress. i still have to finish all the stars and add stuff to the "try song".  the one with the stars is "pictures stars and dreams" by the juliana theory.  The one up top is "try" by nelly furtado. these are bad pictures, it was hard to take them of the wall. yeah. ok

pictures )

so yeah i have been doing ok lately. uh yeah.i talked to brittany the other day. and nikita came up and we talked for a little bit.  i havent seen her in forever so that was excellent. might try and plan a trip to go see brit sometime soon. like..next weekend. that would be awesome.i really dont have anything to say.


» and i see you standing there.

so here are some pictures of my wall in progress. i still have to finish all the stars and add stuff to the "try song".  the one with the stars is "pictures stars and dreams" by the juliana theory.  The one up top is "try" by nelly furtado. these are bad pictures, it was hard to take them of the wall. yeah. ok

PICTURES stars and dreams....and i see you standing there... )

 

so yeah i have been doing ok lately. uh yeah.i talked to brittany the other day. and nikita came up and we talked for a little bit.  i havent seen her in forever so that was excellent. might try and plan a trip to go see brit sometime soon. like..next weekend. that would be awesome.i really dont have anything to say.


» school= <3
so yes i dont know how i can go from being so stressed tonight to being like yayyyy!!!!!!!! cause it was weird. but i think the position paper news had something to do with it. i dont know. and its spirit week. im pretty excited about that. i hope we get eagle shirts soon, and our pictures, since i didnt get mine today. i am happy though. good.ok i need to go to bed now though. i hope everyone is having fun doing whatever and enjoying school. also...im really glad lon and i went to church the other day. it mad me feel really good. ok shalom kids.


(wow..i havent said shalom in a really long time. but i am happy and when i am happy i have found that i say that...)

gavin degraw nov. 2 (and sarahs bday, and vote day)

joan this friday

homecoming this friday

white tee day wednesday

wonderful.
» (No Subject)
there are so many things going on that i cant even think. i dont know what to think about. i dont know what i am feeling, or know what i should be feeling. i cant even pick out what song to listen to without picking something , then halfway through the song, being like i dont want to listen to this, this isnt what im feeling. like really. if you cant even pick a song out that expresses your feelings then i dont know. im concentrating too much on other people when i need to be concentrating on school. and while sometimes i concentrate on school all i can think about is how i want to do something that i am interested in. i want to be doing something productive. school is not productive let me tell you this. repainting my bathroom is productive. making friends and relationships...thats productive. drawing plans for a house and deciding what color scheme you should use...thats productive. broadening your views in another country...thats productive. reading things you're interested in...thats productive. school...is not. may it be that we need to be educated to be accepted in this world, but we do not need to be educated beyond our own horizons because no matter what we learn..our opinions will ALWAYS be our opinions. this means that when you form your own opinion of who you want to become when you grow older...you will spend your life trying to become this person. this is why we have created professions, and the choice of what profession is up to the individual. we do not need to be educated about things that will not matter in life. if we are interested in the chemical form of window cleaner, we will decide that we need to learn this because its something we are interested in. if i decided that i want to vote when i am old enough, i will educate myself. by looking at other peoples opinions we ourselves form a want to be educated. if you want to do something you will do whatever it takes to get it done..is this not true? unless by circumstances you are not allowed to complete whatever task you wish to do..if you really want it you will chase after it until you've reached your goal. proven. anyways.. gavin degraw nov 2, i really want to go but its a tuesday so i dont know. on another note..i still miss him even though i shouldnt. he hasnt responded yet. i wish he would. ok me and my indescribable feeling are going to bed.
» dont leave me hangin, in this city so dead

"was it something i did, was it something you said?"i really like that aviril lavigne however you spell her name...song. i love her.

Read more... )

» Shows

just kidding lon, the place we went to see the motion last time was at berkeley cafe, not the brewery. ops. sorry. anyways..yeah.

here are some awesome things i think you all should go to:

Community Drum Circle: Second & Fourth Wednesdays, 7:30 pm: Instruments to loan on a donation basis. Lawn of Music Explorium, 403 Weaver St, Carrboro. 969-8400.

 this wednesday Lincoln Theatre: INDYpick Jump Little Children, Rubyhorse (i wish i was going)

 

friday:17th

The Brewery: The Motion, The Mile After, The Clear <<<<<PLEASE GO

Cat's Cradle: INDYpick Thad Cockrell, Roman Candle, SpencerAcuff (if you cant go see the motion and are in the carrboro area.)

Sat, Sep 18
Abyssinia: African Caribbean Night

April + George: Worldbeat with DJ Steve

Babette's: Susan Reeves Trio

Bickett Gallery: INDYpick The Octobers

Blue Martini: MoJones

Bogart's: Peace & Love

The Brewery: Second Helping (Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute)

Cafe Cyclo: Merge

Cat's Cradle: INDYpick Edwin McCain

The Cave: early: Susan Kirk; 10 pm: INDYpick John Howie Jr, The Moaners

De La Luz: 10-11 am: Music Time with Paul Rosenburg; 9:30 pm: INDYpick Dub is a Weapon

Durham Arts Initiative: INDYpick Senses of Escape: Multimedia Collaborations with Topography, pulsoptional, Scott Carey

Fat Daddy's: DL Token

42nd St. Oyster Bar: Malibu Station

Gino Russo's: Mojo

James Pharmacy Restaurant: Dawn Graff CD release party

Kings: Allnight, O What a Nightmare

Legends: House & techno with DJ Joey

The Library: The Terry Wiley Band

Lincoln Theatre: INDYpick Reverend Horton Heat, Dexter Romweber

Local 506: INDYpick Her Space Holiday, Neotropic, Octavius, Thavius Beck

Lounge at Cosmic Cantina: 10 pm: open mic; 1 am: DJ with open mic

Michael Dean's: Magic Pipers

Montas: EuroLatin Nights

Nightlight: No Doctors, Haunted House

Open Eye Cafe: Bus Stop Eddy

Pittsboro General Store Cafe: David DiGiuseppe & Danny Gotham

The Pour House: Jon Dee Graham

Ringside: Earthdance 2004: Give Peace a Dance: Tribal house with LeMoore, trance, live drums, and Lucidpulse (this sounds good)(i think so)

Ri-Ra: The Complaints

Sadlack's: Mandible

The Sirens Lounge: DJ Kid AG

Six String Cafe: INDYpick Jon Shain, Jimmy Atto

Talulla's: Urban Techno with DJ Chad

Tony's Bourbon Street: Animal Crackers

Uptown Club: The Basement Funk Party with Howard Burchette

Vineyard Cafe: Carolyn Hester

Weathervane: 7 pm: Julius Carrascas, flamenco guitar; 10 pm: Tain Collins Band

WORTH THE TRIP INDYpick Bullock, Orenstein & Vanderborgh Trio: Sun, Sep 12, 3 pm: Pianist and composer Edmund Barton Bullock, violinist Janet Orenstein, cellist Beth Vanderborgh. Franklin Academy Concert Series. Louisburg College Auditorium, 501 N Main St, Louisburg. 919-497-3300 or 866-773-6354. $35 series, $15 individual.

Community Drum Circle: Second & Fourth Wednesdays, 7:30 pm: Instruments to loan on a donation basis. Lawn of Music Explorium, 403 Weaver St, Carrboro. 969-8400.

PineCone Hammered Dulcimer Session: Second Thursdays, 7:30-10 pm: All levels and listeners welcome. 106 Wainright Hall, Meredith College, 3800 Hillsborough St, Raleigh. 990-1903, www.pinecone.org. Free.

Carolina Samba School: Saturdays, 10:30 am: Open to new members. Eduardo de Souza teaching Rio samba, pagode and Bahia styles. 105 Standing Rock Rd, Chapel Hill. 544-5451. $10.

Open Celtic Music Jam: Saturdays, 5-7 pm: Celtic Wonders, 118 A E Main St, Carrboro. 933-6933, www.celticwonders2000.com.

Acoustic Pickin' Circle: Tuesdays, 8-10 pm: Sponsored by Piedmont Stringed Instruments. Crowley's Mini-Mart Billiards, 3055 Medlin Dr, Raleigh. 782-2955.

 


» im out.

I think i am misunderstood greatly. i am not a quiet person.  i dont talk to people that i dont want to talk to. its probably...you dont like me because i probably annoy you in some way..so i try not to annoy you more by continuing to blab, or i dont like you. or i do like you.  but most of the time its because i think that you are stupid and ignorant.  and when people that i talk to dont talk to me it makes me upset. and when i say that they dont talk to me and someone else says its because "im gab and im ehhh (quiet)"  its not that. because i am not like that.  seriously.  and this makes me a -8 on the social scale at highschool.  its like if you actually payed any attention to me then maybe you would know me better. if people stopped wasting my time just kinda pushing me out of things and just like left me by myself then i would be much happier knowing that i should find different people to hang out with.  i hate to be the person always walking behing other people. ya know when your walking down the hall in a line of people , and then everyone else just kinda cuts in front of you and your like walking behind them trying to be in the conversation but really arent? well thats me like 80% of the time. its so annoying. i dont see why people do that. how stupid.  and how stupid it is to me not to just like walk away because most people dont even care.  its amazing how much i can try to talk to a person and how much they ignore me.  maybe thats why i have such a hard time tlaking to people that i like. maybe its because i dont know if they are actually going to care about what im saying and not just be like "wow is she still talking to me?" becaause thats what i feel like i am doing most of the time.  to people i dont even know...its like look at me when i am tlaking to you lets get some eye contact here, dont just like look off into no where and say uh huh every once in a while to look like you are listening to me. because you arent. if i asked some of you to repeat back to me what i just said you wouldnt even know. and most people that i hang out with are like that. its so messed up. im sick and tired of having people like this in my life. have some respect. be kind. be yourself. thats another thing. could any more people comment about how i need to stop being so straighedge what ever the crap its called. i think maybe a few more dozen of you could comment cause that might make me change my mind about htings. uh except not.  its not who i am and if you dont like it then too bad.  im not going to change my mind to be like other peopel mainly because i cant stand other people. i really dont care what other people do...whatever its you not me but dont comment on how i need to do it to cause what does it matter. i wish so much that i could have brittany back here until high school ended just to get me through things.to balence me out so that i dont get so worked up about hating the world.  i want to get out of this place. soon. im considering homeschooling more and more everyday. the only thing that makes me not want to homeschool is dance and the people in dance. i love those guys. what a great class, so different from last year. other than that...im out next semester. i need change.

 

i really want to go to the incubus show. im not so sure anymore about the weakerthans. let the normal hang out group go, get dance people to go to incubus.

 


» purple.

purple.


» Um something's different

I vote I look much cooler with these eyes.


» this post is of his smile.

And i could sit with you in a picture frame for days on end, freezing that perfect smile of yours.make you laugh just to see those perfect lips form that never ending grin. for this smile is something that makes me feel wonderful inside.  it can bring me from the deepest lows to the top of the world. its your smile that i awake for and day after day and wish to see. please place your smile on mine.that beautiful smile that i wish to freeze and make mine so it will never be lost. perfect.

i love his smile. i love his personality.

i love his smile. i want to love his personality.

these to smiles are not the same.


» this entry is dedicated to stevo.
steven i miss you.keep in touch.im glad that i am in contact with you more now that you are across the world, than just in greensboro.hope your having a wonderful time.see..i didnt forget about you.
» (No Subject)

finishing my picture update.

^^raining really hard.

tree up close^^

^sorry thats sideways, can you tell i like the negitives

tony likes to steal the silverware out of the dishwasher, bring it into the living room and clean it.

           

sorry for the sideways ness.

well thats it for now more to come at a later date. hoped you liked them. sorry for no lj cut to all you gab friends ljers.

one more thing. pico vs island trees 9pm lincoln theatre 8/20!!!!!!!!!!! be there!


» (No Subject)

These are really big, and theres a lot of them. enjoy. not doing lj cut, this is my livejournal, sorry if you dont like it and im on your friends list.

 

 

this is all for now, i have to go to work, there will be more later.

Advertisement

Top of Page Powered by LiveJournal.com